Right Direction

All these times, i thought i had a good moral judgement, about peoples around me. But i kinda think today that i prove it wrong.

Well, i thought that they were troubled, but it was me.. All these times, it was me. Hurtful doesn't it?

The conscious-maker buzzer is today. I'll tell you a story.

So, it started yesterday. Well, i have this feeling for a boy. And, we kind of had the same feeling. But, we were in the same organization that prohibited to date another member, so.. we had a relationship without the tag. So, overall we were doing good, but, honestly this is my first and my momma did told me to watch out. Since i found this pretty serious, i worried about things. I just being optimistic, and looking forward, so i can avoid regret on the future. And, i have worried about two things, he's parents, and he's character. I'm afraid that he's gonna make my life miserable. With that swingy mood, and spoiled behaviour i was just worried. Well, it's okay for now, but later? I could've guess.

And then i yelled to my self, i was afraid. This first turns out to be serious. And then today, we had this fight. At first, i lied to him. He made me promise about things i can't even make it true, and i lied, i broke it. But i denied that it was my fault. That's me. I don't want to be blame, in fact that i often blame myself to things i did. We'll get to that. And he's mad. And i said things that i regretted for the next 15 minutes. I asked him to do things, and he did. But i changed my mind, because i thought, he didn't get the true meaning. But all those quarelling, i knew i was wrong. He was so sweet, he still asked me what i want, i felt so selfish for letting him down. I felt that, he's not troubled, i am.

And then he told me, that he still love me, he forgave me, he did. And he gave me a Right Direction. Said that i have my own way to deal with my complex mind. I had pros and contras in me. Well, it made me struggled everytime. "Was it my fault?" Said the humble of me, and the fierce me said, "Oh c'mon, he's the one who's being such a selfish!". I am trying to let myself win, but i knew i have to sacrifice.

Well, i sort of think, that in every relationship there will be no, I, me, or whatever the pronouns. (It depends on situation rite?) Us, we. That means there will be transformation of our selfishness. I used to just go wherever i want, at least tell mommy. Now, i have to inform the boy. Well, sacrifice time. But it's worth it? Yeah.

And so, he's such right for me. He gave me confidence, really. He loves me, and i love him. No matter how bad i am, how selfish and unforgivable i am, he still there. I'll do the same thing.

So, god just answer what i worried yesterday. Just be sure of him..

With love, me.

WOI

Ih, masa udah mau puasa deh. Ck.

Setaun ini gue ngapain aja ya? Gatau deh. Yang jelas, menurut gue sih, resolusi gue gagal banget. Masa enggak terjalani satupun. Nilai naik? Enggak. Dll. Mau nangis deh rasanya resolusi gagal tuh emang kegagalan kita. Tapi yasudahlah kalau kata bondan mah. RT lah bray. *bodo muut*

Eh eh, bentaran lagi SERTIJAB. Halah gue makin panik, di sisi lain gue siap, di sisi lain gue takut. Nyokap kalo udah ngomong, nakut nakutin gue, bukannya ngasih motivasi kek, apa gitu, eh malahan bilang 'Nanti katanya mau les, entar tugas gimana? Apalagi katanya sekre tuh capek?' Whateve, mom. By

the way, anyway, pengen cerita nih, soal goseeep.

Mulai yak?

Aeuhm, jadi gini. Gue punya sahabat nih, terus dia suka sama sahabat gue yang lain, terus dia curhat gini,

G: Mau curhat apa?

SG : Masa masa adek kelas ada yang suka sama *piiip* terus caper gitu

G : Iya? kok gue gapernah liat deh?

SG : Lo kan ga gaul.

G : Men, plis, gue kece [oke, dua percakapan tadi nggak terjadi kok, Just keep slow mameen]

Ulang yak

G: Mau curhat apa?

SG : Masa masa adek kelas a

da yang suka sama *piiip* terus caper gitu

G : Iya? kok gue gapernah liat deh?

SG : Gatau gue juga gapernah, tapi gue sebel

Gitu ceritanya. Jadi sahabat gue itu disukain sama dua orang sekaligus lho. Waduh. Haha, gue tau sih, dia emang 'tampan' tapi seandainya orangnya tau, narsis mampus, mendingan gue bungkam. Oke, gajelas. Gini gini, musim mau puasa tuh orang pacaran lagi pada marahan, nah, yang ngejomblo lagi pada jatuh cinta lagi.

Kayak gue.

Iya gue.

Gue lhoo *tunjuk diri sendiri*

HE-EH GUE BACOOOT!

Kalo siapanya sih, RAHASIA.

Nah, jadi nih, mau cerita lagi deh. Persahabatan gue di OSIS makin erat, kayak keluarga sendiri, walopun ada beberapa yang udah agak 'jauh' tapi gue masih sayang mereka.

1. Kak Rianto tuh bunda
2. Hasbi itu Om
3. Abang itu Kak Yeldi
4. Kak Lhokes kakak guee
5. Kak Keyie idola gue, kaka gue juga
6. Karin tuh, gatau siapa dia :P
7. Kak Clara juga kaka gue sama Kak Maritha
8. Kak Dendra abang gue juga, kak fredyka juga
9. Adit, Thara, Dimar, Diapen, Andi, Brian itu Sepupu gue meen
10. Rejha, gatau abang gatau bray gue gatau deh
11. Deskya sama Manesta tuh mamah saya
12. Nu, Pipite, Riri, Sekar, Widi, Chika Kalian sister of mine!
13. Dizkri sama Lala, adek gue yang tersayang

Nah, jadi gitu deh. Apa ya? Bingung.

Gambar Gambarnya? Hem, bolee.

Ki-ka: Dimar, Rejha, Widi, Dzikri, Lala, Gue Atas: Ka Iqbal, Bria, Ka Clara, Pak Ni'am, Andi, Ka subandi, Ka Melin, delina, gue, thara'

Sekian ah, bosen gue. Lopyuh!

I Screwed.

Yeah. Ya know what? I already done it. Ruined my own life, with NOTHING. Have ya ever imagine about living your life with nothing? It's useless man, and i thought i screwed it. I have many friends, but i pretending to be like them. I'm not being myself. Learning how to be someone that they really thought that she must there. Always, i learn how to do it, they respect you. uh-huh. But i couldn't. I'm not Sara Stanley who had magical voices. Or, Anne Shirley with those big grey eyes filled with dreams could make people easy to love them.

But i'm ugly, i'm.....jerk. Really, i'm those kind. No, no, not with the negative POV, but a really sensitive thing about my behaviour.

I used to be a freaky girl. i don't give a damn care for the silly thought of them. Because i got a full package of back up, here, at the new place, i'm alone. And i'm afraid of being like i used to. I'm a kind of smart, loony, disturbing, if-she-is-not-the-number-one-i-would-not-let-she-in thought. Okay, sometimes i'm over it. But, the rest is all right..

I just need love okay?

My parents gave me enough. But i felt kinda lonely. They both works. Go home at night, didn't have much time just to hear i'm chirping. Saturday dan Sunday is break day. Sleeping like a baby again, but after they woke up their voice echoing the house again like the trombone.

i don't have true friend. Bestfriend? Yeah, got some. But true, i didn't. That makes me feel kinda lonely. Yeah, i screwed. I don't really need to hav a boyfriend at least now. But i always want to have a True Friend. Really Friend. More that it, like a Soulmate but i'm not her ribs. That's creepy. I'm not a lesbian, for sure. If you doubt me.

Ah, ah, ah. I really screwed. Now, Alecta Carrow on her way. But who cares? Who is this Carrow anyway?

SATELITE ROCK MAMEEEEEEEEN

Halo.

*halah

Setelah lama tak menulis disini, saya datang bawa kabar! Iya KABAR BAIK!! Kalo *waitforit*

Closing Sa..te..li..te.. 12th SEDANG BERLANGSUNG!!!!!!!!!

UWOOOOOOH. Heboh kan? Iya kan? Udahlah iyain. Nah, karena closing lagi berlangsung dengan indah di lantai bawah sementara saya, SEKERTARIS 2 SATELITE12 dengan indahnya menulis blog di HEADQUARTERS of OSIS SMK TELKOM JAKARTA. Unyu kan? #plak

Nah, sekarang mulai ceritanya dari awal.

Kemaren, alias persiapan, saya *halahbahasanyagueloajalah* gue pulang jam setengah sembilanan garagara nungguin Karin. Soalnya dia pake lama banget bantuin masang perkap stage. Udahan gue pulang, ya mandi, keramas, tidur. <----------gapenting.com

Oke, terus, paginya, kan kan bangun nih jam 5, terus guling gulingan dulu. Padahal mepet noh. Terus, makan, mandi, dan berangkat. Eh, sampe sekolah nya baru jam 6.15 padahal batasnya jam enem. Ahai. Kena bending berdua MamaNenes. 150 lho. 15 seri. Tapi gapapa, toh gue jalankan dengan penuh kebahagiaan, dan kemenangan. Unyu kan diriku? *HOI*

Nah nah terus terus, setelah acara omenl mengomel, akhirnya Anak X TEL 1 yang super ga solid, menyolidkan diri agar bazaar jadi. Setelah ke-crowded-an dan kerepotan, serta didukung dengan perlengkapan yang kuran dan dipinjam dari dapur Ac*a dan dapur O*ni*l, jadilah stand bazaar Tel 1 sebagai stand yang kurang persiapan. Ngiri sih, sama kompaknya Tel 2, Tel 7, dan Tel 4, yang betul betul persiapan. Sumpah, gue ngiri TAT. Tapi gapapa, kalo kata Helga Hufflepuff, Hard Works never Fails. Eah.

Nah sekarang, ke Briefing. Dengan sok sibuk, si Flexi merah terus berbunyi *bahasanyacuuy* entah dari Adnan, Ibu, Adnan lagi, dan memang cuma dua. Pokoknya, Adnan terus meneror gue cuma buat dapetin jaket seratus ribu-ungu-dan-unyu kesayangan gue yang beli di JakCloth *ceilaaaah* Buat Acara Dance-nya. SMS 3 kali sehari, telpon 2 kali semalem. Jadi kek makan sama mandi ya?

Udah selese Briefing, kita tos, pokoknya CLOSING SATELITE 12th semoga sukses deh. Terus, balik ke job masing masing. Asiik kan? Yaudah doain ya Closing Satelite 12th Sukses besar.

Nah ini dia posternya..



Dengan GUEST STAR : Rocket Rockers, End of Life, Radio Bandit, Annoying Butthead, SOSR, MynameIS. HTM 20.000 dengan bonus voucher slurpee buy 1 get 1 free.
*promosi*

Dateng ya?

Pokoknya, lah, this is what happen happen dari jam 5-10 pagi. CLOSING SATELITE 12th SEUKSEEEEESSSS!!